For over two years, we unappreciated patriots have taken upon ourselves the thankless task of outing Barack Obama as a closeted Marxist and exposing his insidious socialist agenda for enslaving this country.
While Obama sat in his Red Study Circle with comrades Geithner, Summers and Rubin, busily reading “Quotations from Chairman Mao” for inspiration as they plotted the doom of this country, smart alecky, bicoastal liberal elites have snickered over their lattes and microbrews at us regular Americans in flyover country who managed to see through Obama’s totalitarian schemes.
“If Obama’s such a socialist and all,” ask these know-it-alls, “How come he’s got an economic policy team made up entirely of investment bankers and hedge fund managers?”
Well, I’ll tell you, Mr. Smarty-Pants Intellectual. It’s because he’s the worst kind of Marxist: a deep undercover Marxist. And all this seeming flirtation with Wall Street elites and corporate CEOs is just part of his master plan to destroy capitalism and turn the great Representative Republic of our Founding Fathers into a People’s Democratic Republic.
To someone who doesn’t understand the Marxist agenda, sure, it might seem like Obama’s carrying water for the big banks and Fortune 500. But don’t be deceived. There’s a method to his madness.
Some of you out there, who are comparatively shaky in your One Hundred Percent Americanism and bear careful watching, might be tempted to doubt by Obama’s latest choice for a chief of staff. Bill Daley, it’s said, spent seven years with J.P. Morgan Chase — including a stint on its executive committee. During his time in the Clinton administration, he actively supported NAFTA. “I really wanna believe Barack Hussein Obama is a Marxist,” you say. “But stuff like this doesn’t exactly help.”
Oh, ye of little faith! Don’t dialectical materialists reserve the right to lie, cheat and steal for the sake of advancing the International Communist Agenda? Appointing a seeming uber-capitalist as his chief of staff is just the kind of thing we’d expect a godless communist like Obama to do! He’s just going even deeper under cover, that’s all!
The seeming “pro-business” policies of people like Daley are all for a reason.
Obama and Geithner continued the Paulson TARP plan of using taxpayer money to prevent bubble-inflated assets from being marked down to market value, and to give the big banks the liquid assets they needed to further consolidate the industry and buy up more of the economy, for a reason. Comrade Biden operates an FBI task force from Disney headquarters enforcing music and movie copyrights against file-sharers for a reason.
The reason is that, for his totalitarian socialist agenda to succeed, Obama must bring the entire American economy under concentrated capitalist ownership by a handful of giant corporations. Obama, clever fiend that he is, is hastening the process by which Disney, GM and Citigroup buy up the economy and consolidate it into a single conglomerate. And then, when the entire economy is owned by One Big Trust, he will simply nationalize it and replace the CEO with Bill Ayers. Then he’ll take down Old Glory and run the Hammer and Sickle up the pole, and send me and Glenn Beck off to reeducation camp.
“Well, that makes sense, I guess,” you say. “But why did all those big banks and corporations out there, all those defense contractors, give more money to Obama than to McCain?” Isn’t it obvious, you snivelling little simp? It’s because they’re all dupes! These poor deluded American businessmen donated money to Obama because, devious traitor that he is, he fooled them. He tricked them into believing that, with a Cabinet packed with God-fearing bankers and, um… bankers… he couldn’t help but promote the manly virtues of free enterprise and rugged individualism. Fools! In reality, they’ve just coughed up the money to buy flowers for their own funeral. As Nikolai Lenin said, “the capitalists will sell us the rope to hang them with.”
Now, aren’t you ashamed for doubting?