Angry at the world? Suspicious of foreigners? Looking for a scapegoat? In need of a racist ideological movement to follow but don’t think a skinhead haircut will match your wardrobe? If so, then why not take a look at the new Autumn range of clothing and fashion accessories from the British National Party.
Bomber Jackets, Doc Martens and a Hitler tattoo on your arse cheeks are soooo last season. That’s why when you join the BNP you are free to don snazzy suits, corporate ties and smart yet comfortable leather shoes. Get out that Giorgio Armani shirt and feel just divine whilst secure in the knowledge that your natural penchant for style is aiding the cause of racial purity.
In the European elections last year, we at the BNP won our first two seats in the European Parliament (not bad for an organisation who’s constitution has recently been ruled as illegal due to its restrictions on non-white membership wouldn’t you say?). We failed miserably to win seats in the previous set of Euro elections, but through low turnout and voter apathy we have this time triumphed, acquiring the seats without increasing our share of the vote.
But don’t think that we are just an obscure, irrelevant minority party with a support base consisting of toothless hicks and 11 fingered inbreds. Far from it – as the recession has set in our popularity has soared. Our fat, toad-faced chairman Nick Griffin is a TV hit, pulling in an audience of almost 8 million viewers last week on the BBC’s flagship political debate program, Question Time. The following day a poll revealed that 22% of the population are now ‘seriously considering’ voting for us at the next general election. So it’s confirmed, this years ‘in-thing’ is thinly veiled fascism and bigotry – forget ‘Springtime for Hitler and Germany’, this is Autumntime for Griffin and England.
But if you’re an old fashioned sort of racist, with a longing for the good old days when ‘bashing a paki’ and knifing a Jew or two was considered a good evening out, then don’t feel as if you have no place in our party. The BNP has its origins in violent militias such as the National Front and Combat 18, and our current policy of dressing like highstreet insurance-salesmen is really just a dubious ploy to convince people that we are no longer thuggish criminals.
If you don’t believe me then why not do a quick search on YouTube for the video of our chairman making a speech with white-supremacist David Duke to a KKK meeting, in which Mr Griffin spells out a strategy for gaining power by cynically moderating the message in order to dupe the masses? Truly, we are all things to all men (apart from Jews, Homosexuals, the ‘Liberal Elite’, those funny looking ‘coloureds’, and Extremist-Terrorist-Islamofascist-Marxist-InsertRandomDerogatoryPrefixHere-Muslims of course)
Be quick with filling in that BNP application though, because sooner or later the economy might fix itself and people might stop looking for scapegoats. Worse still, some bright spark might figure out that our main base of support is non-racist working class folk who just feel frustrated after being consistently disenfranchised by the state-monopolised political process. If that happened then efforts might be made to re-empower people with control over their own lives, workplaces and communities – and god forbid we could ever allow that, because support for our piddling little party would collapse overnight.
No, it is much better that we preserve the current state-capitalist system that subsidises industry and thus causes the market to produce too much. It is much better that we soak up this excess product via the use of central banks to print money that doesn’t really exist. It is much better that the resulting boom-bust cycle is used as a way of creating a pool of constantly unemployed labour. It is much better that we deprive opportunities for working class self-dependence by leaving in place laws that enclose the commons of land, capital and intellectual property. It is much better that the inevitable migration of workers is used to divide society into opposing groups of foreign and ‘indigenous’ labour. It is much better that anti trade-union laws are left in place so that wages can be forced constantly downwards and then blamed on the influx of migrants.
Yes, it is much better that the current setup of so-called ‘democracy’ and ‘free-trade’ is left in place so that filthy, fascist, authoritarian scumbags such as us can take advantage of peoples insecurities to make a grab at the controls of the whole shitty system. Vote for us and ruin your country whilst causing misery for everyone that doesn’t fit the mold of an ‘Indigenous Brit’. Yes, go ahead and destroy any chance that the lives of ordinary people can ever be bettered.
In short, there is no problem caused by state authority that can’t be solved by even more state authority — especially when it’s exercised capriciously and based on contemptible premises.
Yours Insincerely
Turdy McTurdson,
Head Propagandist for the British National Party
The first two paragraphs appear to be vapid and shallow. What difference does it make what anyone chooses to wear?
Is Gordon Brown, then, svelte? lol
Please say more about the economy fixing itself while interventionism reigns supreme.
I’m confused why you would want to give so much time to composing an essay about the BNP. Ignoring them and avoiding the state would seem to be much better strategies, fraught with all manner of blessings.
“sooner or later the state might allow the economy might fix itself and people might stop looking for scapegoats”
should read as
“sooner or later the state might allow the economy to fix itself, and people might stop looking for scapegoats”
“The first two paragraphs appear to be vapid and shallow. What difference does it make what anyone chooses to wear?”
It’s intended as a form of satire. If you don’t get it, or if it does not entertain you then that’s fine. But not everything has to be full on, heavy analysis and furrowed brow seriousness all the time.
What difference does it make what someone wears? On a broader level it doesn’t make any difference – clearly a bomber jacket will not turn you into a fascist, and a suit won’t stop you from being a fascist. And this is the whole point of the article. The BNP is an organisation that have entered into the mainstream on a horse of pseudo-respectability. They pose as ‘run of the mill’ politicians in order to convince people that it is safe to vote for them.
By drawing the contrast of their current image with the stereotype of a jackbooted racist, it makes the point that they are at root no different in ideology to their former incarnations. Whether you like it or not, image does make a difference to a lot of people out there – that is exactly why the BNP have chosen to adorn suits. Most people DO get influenced by what a person chooses to wear. Believe me, if Nick Griffin looked like he was in a skinhead gang he would not be invited to appear on a show like Question Time.
“I’m confused why you would want to give so much time to composing an essay about the BNP. Ignoring them and avoiding the state would seem to be much better strategies, fraught with all manner of blessings.”
I agree with you up to a certain point. Groups such as the BNP are best ignored when they pose no real political threat, but that point has long been passed. Their presence on QT demonstrates that they are no longer a ‘fringe’ party, they are mainstream and will only grow larger if the social problems they capitalise on are not addressed. Ignoring them will no longer make them go away.
“Please say more about the economy fixing itself while interventionism reigns supreme”
It won’t fix itself whilst interventionism continues. It was a line with not enough thought put into it. “sooner or later the state might allow the economy might fix itself and people might stop looking for scapegoats” would be more accurate